Today's Mental Healthy Moment.....We went from forgiveness to train up a child. Now let's move to the phrase, 'It Takes A Village To Raise A Child'. When I was growing up I remember being around my great grandmother, grandmothers, grandfathers, great aunts, great uncles, my parent's siblings, cousins and my own sibling. This was my village. Today's villages consist of the child welfare systems and/or family. In today's time, if a child ends up being raised by family and not in the care of their parents, it's not exactly because the family has made the choice. Someone has found that the parents aren't raising children appropriately and children are being placed with a system of strangers having little to no contact with their parents and/or family. Is this the best thing? I will reserve my comments about this and share my thoughts in another blog.
'It Takes A Village to Raise a Child'. The village creators usually surrounds great grandmothers and/or great grandfathers whose presences continues to hold the concept together or because their presences have left the family, the concept of the village has become extinct. I remember learning life through my village members, good and bad. They were my teachers, my spiritual leaders, my friends and my disciplinarians. They gave me vision when I had no vision, peace when I had no guidance and a drive to be somebody when I was trying to find myself. I remember my granny telling me to learn to open up and not be so closed in because whatever the problem was, harboring will only hurt me. She told me to let it go and open up, so to Granny, I'm opening up. Then she gave me some home made tea made out of some berries to help with something I was dealing with at that time and boy was it nasty. I've been inspired by this lady to want to heal and help others like she once did.
Then there was my 'grandma' who taught me determination regardless of what type of situation you are in and caring for others in spite of their faults. My grandaddy, he was always proud of me and made sure I knew it. For whatever reason, his smile and that cane he walks with, stays in my mind and I look forward to seeing him after every accomplishment. Then there was my grandpa and Nannie. My Nannie, who I thought was my father's real mother at one point embraced me like I was hers and I never knew the difference. I was a little crushed when I learned that we weren't blood related but I got over it. My grandpa and Nannie were my saviors along with my grandma.
Then there's my aunts and uncles starting with the greats. The greats held standards that I wanted to meet. Notice I said I wanted to meet. They were the influence behind me pursuing a career and education. They always inquired about my education and encouraged me to continue pursuing a higher one. My great aunts kept me laughing and straight all at the same time. Who does that? They do.
Then there's my parents siblings. OK now this crew taught me the world. They taught me so much that I don't even know where to began. But I will say this, I learned the dos and the don'ts, how to tolerate people, who to avoid, and I surely got a lot of practice on decipher between what not to do and what to do. My aunts were my other sets of parents. Now I did tell on them a lot so I will own that. In fact, I told on them so much that they began talking another language around me (pig Latin). Hell I thought they were the creators of the language until I learned otherwise. Bless their little hearts and their friend's hearts, they didn't realize that I learned certain phrases when they did use this language and every time I heard 'eddyta earba' I knew to clue in on what they were saying. Yep and I still told.
Then there were my cousins who were my first friends and best friends. First, the cousins from my great aunts and uncles. I didn't even know you'll were my cousins. I thought you'll were my aunts and uncles. So you guys are really classified up under my parents siblings. You guys gave me the same experience as them, except I didn't tell on you. But my cousins from my parent's siblings, there were four in particular, man I cried for you'll all the time. But let me take this opportunity to clear the air. I would like to straighten some things with some of my cousins. Cousin hood is not competition. Some have made it into that but we all have traits of the same blood running through our veins. You can accomplish things. I don't act funny. No I don't teach my kids too act funny. Learn to let go of negative feelings. I grew up with your mother and/or father because they had to take care of me. Them and the elder members of this village that I am speaking of. They made me this way and understand that my time with them influenced the closeness in our relationship. Yes I experienced their lives with them. I watched them grow from children to women and men. I was in the household with them at times. Some even came and stayed with me. Now let me answer your questions, Yes I was the first to experience things such as having the first great grand, loosing a father, loosing a husband, earning a degree but this does not make me better then you. And I surely don't think I'm better then anyone. I am the third girl in the grands line up and the fourth over all. This is not a trophy to wear. It's nothing to hold my nose high about. I've made mistakes and I endured pain and disappointments. But I turned them into success and if that makes me stick out and noticeable, then learn from my transition. Those are the facts and yes I put it out on this blog. No one forgot about you. In fact, I will never forget you, what I do is because of you. That's it, that's all.
Then there were my parents whose struggles I've learned to embrace as lessons about life. No pity parties, no blaming others, it was unconditional love and forgiveness that I learned along with trusting God when times got unbearable. My dad gave me the best gift he can give a child, ushering a relationship with God. No he wasn't always there and yes he is deceased, but I forgave him and he now sits in my living room (his ashes) watching over me. My mom, regardless and I mean regardless of anything that goes on in her life good or bad, she is my mother and the love I have for her is unexplainable. She sets the stage for me relating to loving someone in spite of. They weren't perfect but I loved them any way.
I didn't forget my brother. Who was the thorn in my side at times but my brother. We're not always on the same path but no body better not mess with him.
So now that I have given you the impact of how a village can come together and raise a child. If your village is broken down or if this triggered memories about the village that groomed you to your success. Get back to building your village because we as parents can't do this by ourselves. We need each other because we all play a role on working with preparing the next generation like the generation before us prepared us. Remember, there has to be another President of the United States, there has to be new doctors, lawyers, hairstylist, therapist, bus drivers, etc. and they come from our offspring's. They will make a difference in the future ahead of us. Remember that. Well that's it for me today.....It may not reach or touch you but it will reach or touch someone.....until next time take care blog readers.
No comments:
Post a Comment